Showing posts with label 10 best short jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 10 best short jokes. Show all posts

Wednesday

Q: What do you call sad coffee?" A: Despresso. #Jokes

Here is today's top ten best short jokes, okay, some may be stupid, I guess the depends of your "pain tolerance for humor"? Did the make sense?

  1. Q: What do you call sad coffee?"
    A: Despresso.

  2. Q: Why are frogs so happy?
    A: They eat whatever bugs them

  3. Q: How do you make an Octopus laugh?
    A: With ten-tickles

  4. Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
    A. Milk and quackers!

  5. Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner?
    Man, that hit the "spot."

  6. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
    A: A bulldozer!

  7. Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
    A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

  8. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    A: Frostbite.

  9. Q: What is the best day to go to the beach?
    A: Sunday, of course!

  10. Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
    A: Spring time.


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Thursday

10 Best Short Jokes 1


Here is today's collection of top ten short jokes
  1. Little Brian, "Should I get into trouble for something I didn't do"?
    Teacher, "No."
    Little Brian, "Good, because I didn't do my homework."

  2. Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
    A: a yardvark!

  3. Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
    A: Swimming trunks.

  4. Q: What Do You Call A Bear With No Teeth?
    A: A Gummy Bear

  5. Q. Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping?
    A. He loved it, but it scared the hell out of his seeing eye dog.

  6. Q: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise?
    A: LMAYO

  7. Q: "How do you shoot a killer bee?"
    A: "With a bee bee gun."

  8. Q: What kind of jokes do you make in the shower?
    A: Clean Jokes!

  9. Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
    A: "Where’s Popcorn?"

  10. Q: What do you call sad coffee?"
    A: Despresso.


Little Brian, Should I get into trouble for something I didn't do...
Teacher, No....Little Brian, Good, because I didn't do my homework
Little Brian Getting Into Trouble

elephant Source=nationalgeographic.com

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Wednesday

Today's Best Short Jokes 12



Did you hear about the new Johnny Depp movie? Well, that just one of ten of the today's picks of the best short jokes.
There even a few "Little Brian" jokes listed that I feel will give you a good laugh and you might share with your friends.
Feel free to add your favorite short joke (in the comment section).
  1. Q: What can you serve but never eat?
    A: A volleyball.

  2. Little Brian calls 911, "Hello? I need your help!"
    911: "Alright, What is the problem?"
    Little Brian: "Two girls are fighting over me!"
    911: "So what's your emergency?"
    Little Brian: "The ugly one is winning."

  3. Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
    No one in the class stands up
    Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students here!"
    Little Brian stands up
    Teacher: "Oh, Brian you think you're stupid?"
    Little Brian: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

  4. Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
    A: Post Office!

  5. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
    A: Lettuce get together!

  6. Q: What is heavy forward but not backward?
    A: Ton. (but "not" backwards)

  7. Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?
    A: Because his parents were in a jam!

  8. The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

  9. Q: Did you hear about the new Johnny Depp movie?
    A: It's the one rated Arrrr!

  10. Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
    A: Your dyslexic



Girls Fighting Over Me
Girls fighting over me


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Sunday

Best Short Jokes 7



10 best short joke,library, BrianMc, myway2fortune.info
Library Joke


Welcome to today's best short jokes collection.

. Do you know difference between bird flu and swine flu?
Do you know what kind of bow that can't be tied?
Well, the shocking answers are posted below.

  1. It's been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you!

  2. Q: What building is the largest?
    A: The library because it has the most stories.

  3. Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
    A. Ground beef.

  4. Q: Why didn't the 11 year old go to the pirate movie?
    A: Because it was rated arrrrr

  5. Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
    A: Right where you left him.

  6. Q: What concert costs 45 cents?
    A: 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.

  7. Q: Why did Little Brian throw the clock out of the window?
    A: Because he wanted to see time fly!

  8. Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
    A: A stamp.

  9. Q: What bow can't be tied?
    A: A rainbow!

  10. Q: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
    A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.



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Monday

Today's Best Short Jokes 5



cross eyed teacher joke
Cross Eyed Teacher

Here is today's selection for the top 10 best short jokes! Hope you enjoy them and get a laugh!

  1. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

    The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.

    She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

    The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

    Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

  2. Q: What did the man say to the wall?
    A: One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya!

  3. Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
    A: I think I'm coming down with something!

  4. Q: Did you hear about the calendar thief?
    A: He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered

  5. Q: Why did the blonde bring lipstick and eye shadow to school?
    A: She got ready for a make-up exam!

  6. Q: How do spiders communicate?
    A: Through the World Wide Web.

  7. Silence is golden, Duct tape is silver

  8. Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
    A: Because then it would be a foot!

  9. Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
    A: Cause they arrrrr.

  10. Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job?
    A: Because she couldn't control her pupils?



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Sunday

Today's Best Short Jokes 4


Here is today's collection of the ten best short jokes! Hope you have a laugh or two or three

    Work-joke-(BrianMc-myway2fortune.info)
    Work Joke
  1. Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
    To get to the second hand store.

  2. I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

  3. Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor?
    A: Because it was not peeling well

  4. Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
    A: Flood lights!

  5. Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
    The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
    The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this hand rail is bloody low down"

  6. Q: What's the first bet that most people make in their lives?
    A: The alpha bet

  7. Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
    A. A nervous wreck.

  8. Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
    A. Ugly sheep.

  9. If money doesn't grow on trees why do banks have branches?

  10. You should always give 100% at work
    12% Monday
    23% Tuesday
    40% Wednesday
    20% Thursday
    5% Friday



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Wednesday

Today's Ten Best Short Jokes 2



10-best-short-joke-own Bed-3-(BrianMc-myway2fortune.info)
Short Joke and Long Joke


  1. Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
    A: It went back four seconds.

  2. There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

  3. Q: What do sea monsters eat?
    A: Fish and ships

  4. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

  5. Q: How do you make holy water?
    A: Boil the hell out of it!

  6. Q: How do you organize a space party?
    A: You planet!

  7. "Dyslexic man walks into a bra"

  8. Want to hear two short jokes and a long joke?
    Joke. Joke. Joooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeee.

  9. Hotel Manager: The room is $15.00 a night. But if you make your own bed, it is only $5.00.
    Guest: I'll make my own bed.
    Hotel Manager: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.

  10. Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
    Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"



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Saturday

Today's 10 Short Jokes



Ever have one of those days, when you need a laugh or two? Well, I am having one of those days. So in order to cheer myself up, (laughter always did the trick for me) and one of the main advantages of having your own blog, you can do a posting especially one like today's and later on when you are feeling down, you can always go back and reread a humorous posting that you did previously!
So on that note, here are my picks for the ten best short jokes of the day!

  1. Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace.

  2. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

  3. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

  4. "When I die, I want my tombstone to be a WiFi hotspot. That way people will visit more often."

  5. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
    A: An Investigator

  6. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

  7. A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"

  8. Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
    A: A taxi driver.

  9. "My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that."

  10. A blonde walks into a doctor's office with both her ears burnt!

    The doctor asked, "What happened?"

    She says, "Well, when I was ironing my worksuit, then the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron instead of the phone.

    "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to the other one?"

    "Bastard, called again!" was the blondes answer.


10-best-short-joke-blonde-BrianMc-myway2fortune.info
Blonde Joke


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