Starting To Look Good #humor

Starting to look good!

A man sits down at a bar and orders a double martini.

After he finishes, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders another.

After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders another double martini.

The barman says: "I'll bring you martinis all night but why do you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."

The customer replies: "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife.

When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

---

---

Today's Best deal at Amazon

Today's Best Short Jokes 12

Did you hear about the new Johnny Depp movie? Well, that just one of ten of the today's picks of the best short jokes.
There even a few "Little Brian" jokes listed that I feel will give you a good laugh and you might share with your friends.
Feel free to add your favorite short joke (in the comment section).

1. Q: What can you serve but never eat?
   A: A volleyball.


2. Little Brian calls 911, "Hello? I need your help!"
   911: "Alright, What is the problem?"
   Little Brian: "Two girls are fighting over me!"
   911: "So what's your emergency?"
   Little Brian: "The ugly one is winning."


3. Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
   No one in the class stands up
   Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students here!"
   Little Brian stands up
   Teacher: "Oh, Brian you think you're stupid?"
   Little Brian: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."


4. Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
   A: Post Office!


5. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
   A: Lettuce get together!


6. Q: What is heavy forward but not backward?
   A: Ton. (but "not" backwards)


7. Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?
   A: Because his parents were in a jam!


8. The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.


9. Q: Did you hear about the new Johnny Depp movie?
   A: It's the one rated Arrrr!


10. Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
    A: Your dyslexic

Girls fighting over me

Submit To Dig  :    

Ask and Answer Question To Make Money

---

Today's Best deal at Amazon

---

Today's Ten Best Short Jokes 3

Top 10 Short Jokes

1. Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
   A: It barked with de-light!


2. I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.


3. A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asks. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"


4. A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied, "No peer pressure."


5. A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothing special.We just flat out tell them they're gonna die.


6. Q. Who is the poorest guy in West Virginia?
   A. The Tooth Fairy


7. Q: Why can't a leopard hide?
   A: Because he's always spotted!


8. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.


9. Q: What belongs to you but others use more?
   A: Your name


10. Q: What do you call a magician on a plane?
    A: A flying sorcerer!

Submit To Dig  :    

420 Gangsta

---

Today's Best deal at Amazon

---

Short Classroom Jokes

Here are my collection (which will be updated regularly) of the best short jokes for the classroom. These are kid friendly jokes that even their teachers will find funny! Should, you have a joke to share, why not leave it in the comment section (below) Enjoy and I hope you have a few LOL's!

---

TEACHER: Now, Brian, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
BRIAN: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

---

TEACHER: Brian, why do you always get so dirty?
BRIAN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

---

TEACHER: Brian, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
BRIAN: You told me to do it without using tables.

---

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Brian, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
BRIAN: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

---

TEACHER: Kelly, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
KELLY: Me!

---

TEACHER: Brian, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
BRIAN: A teacher.

---

TEACHER: Brian, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
BRIAN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
BRIAN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

---

TEACHER: Kelly, go to the map and find North America
KELLY: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Kelly.

---

TEACHER: Brian, your composition on ‘My Dog’ Is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
BRIAN: No, sir. It’s the same dog.

---

TEACHER: Kelly, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’
KELLY: I is..
TEACHER: No, Kelly…… Always say, ‘I am.’
KELLY: All right…; ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’

---

TEACHER: Brian, what is the chemical formula for water?
BRIAN: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
BRIAN: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

---

Today's Blogging Best deal at Amazon

Main phrases (keywords) used to find this blog are best short jokes, kids jokes, best jokes, short quotes, funny jokes short, jokes funny, good short jokes, short joke, jokes one liners, one liners, funny classroom jokes, jokes in classroom and teacher jokes

Easy Money Online Free

---

Short Joke And Phobias

Today's favorite short joke is


Music Joke



Today, I want to share my favorite top five phobias!

1. Did you know that the fear of beards is Pogonophobia.


2. That the fear of being forgotten or ignored or forgetting is Athazagoraphobia.


3. That the fear of bearing a deformed child or fear of monsters or deformed people is Teratophobia.


4. That the fear of pins and needles is Balenephobia.


5. That the fear of female genitalia is Eurotophobia.

Does The Government Owe You Money?
Free Web Sites To Make Money From