Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies? #Joke

Looking for a laugh of two? Below, we have today's posting of the top 10m best jokes that we found online!

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Here is today' collection of the top ten favorite jokes of the day!


1. Little Brian,"The principal is so dumb!"
   Girl, "Do you know who I am?"
   Little Brian, "No..."
   Girl, "I am the principal's daughter!"
   Little Brian, "Do you know who I am?"
   Girl,"No..."
   Little Brian, "Good!" and walks away*


2. Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.



3. Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
   A: The scientists were brainstorming!



4. Q: Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
   A: Neither, they both weigh a ton!



5. On wall in ladies room "My husband follows me everywhere..."
   Written just below it "I do not".



6. When I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for her birthday.
   She said "Just gimme something with diamonds."
   That's why I got her a pack of cards.


7. Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
   A: One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!



8. Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
   A monkey!



9. "Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."



10. Q: Why is Basketball such a messy sport?
    A: Because you dribble on the floor!
    
    
    
    For More Short Jokes

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Best Short Jokes 9

1. A police officer sees a blonde woman driving and knitting at the same time. Exasperated, he drives up next to her and screams out the window, "Pull over!" The blonde responds, "No Silly, it's a scarf."


2. I know some jokes about unemployment but they need some work.


3. Q: What did the alien say to the garden?
   A: Take me to your weeder.


4. Q: Did you hear about that new broom?
   A: It's sweeping the nation!


5. Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
   Brunette: "I don’t know."
   Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
   



Short Blonde Joke

6. A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a six foot tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is six foot two, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is six foot five, pushing 300, and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
   The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."


7. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
   A: Never mind, it's over your head!


8. Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?
   USB


9. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
   A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.


10. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it.
    A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.
    The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.
    The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.
    The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

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Diabetic Inspirational Quote - 4

"Please don't sugarcoat it, I am a diabetic." and they will tell you that "laughter is the best medicine. Unless you are a diabetic, then insulin is probably better" are just two of today's inspirational quotes for diabetics.

Hope, you enjoy these quotes and find them, inpsirational!

1. 
   Diabetes Thoughts


2. 
   Please don't sugarcoat it, I am a diabetic.


3. 
   Blood sugar- The world's best scrapegooat.


4. 
   Laughter is the best medicine. Well, unless you are a diabetic, then insulin is probably better


5. 
   "Walk for a cure?" Wouldn't it be faster if we ran?

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Today's Ten Best Short Jokes 3

Top 10 Short Jokes

1. Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
   A: It barked with de-light!


2. I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.


3. A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asks. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"


4. A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied, "No peer pressure."


5. A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothing special.We just flat out tell them they're gonna die.


6. Q. Who is the poorest guy in West Virginia?
   A. The Tooth Fairy


7. Q: Why can't a leopard hide?
   A: Because he's always spotted!


8. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.


9. Q: What belongs to you but others use more?
   A: Your name


10. Q: What do you call a magician on a plane?
    A: A flying sorcerer!

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Best Short Jokes 8

The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.

My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.

You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.

There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.

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For More Best Short Jokes on Pinterest
Best Short Jokes 2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7


What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.

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Best Short Jokes 4

Did you hear about the song that I wrote about a tortilla? (For answer, read below)
Or do you know what kinda of shoes that ninjas wear? (See below)
Did I get your attention? Do you know the answers (without peeking?) Well then below you will find the humorous answers to those question and there more short jokes that I believe will make you laugh!
Enjoy!

1. What kind of shoes does a ninjas wear? Sneakers.


2. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.


3. I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.


4. PMS should just be called ovary-acting.


5. Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells.

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What kind of shoes does a ninjas wear? Sneakers

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Best Short Jokes 3

To continue with my previous best short jokes postings that I found online. Here are five more funny short jokes that hopefully will make you laugh!
If you know of a short funny joke, please leave it in the comments, and I just might add it to my next posting and credit you! Enjoy

1. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.


2. So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.


3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


4. Just went to an emotional wedding.
   Even the cake was in tiers.


5. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.



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Eminem Best Quotes And Images

When Dealing With Backstabbers..

Are you a fan of rap superstar, Eminem? I have collected a few of his best 10 quotes, the top 30 of his biggest hits, a few picture quotes and even throw in a video or two (maybe 3)

1. "I do say things that I think will shock people. But I don't do things to shock people. I'm not trying to be the next Tupac, but I don't know how long I'm going to be on this planet. So while I'm here, I might as well make the most of it."
   Emimem Quote


2. "Dealing with backstabbers, there was one thing I learned. They're only powerful when you got your back turned."
   Emimem Quote


3. “If you have enemies, good that means you stood up for something.”
   Emimem Quote


4. “Behind every sucessful person lies a pack of haters”
   Emimem Quote


5. “Love is just a word, but you bring it definition.”
   Emimem Quote


6. “I always wished for this, but it's almost turning into more of a nightmare than a dream.”
   Emimem Quote


7. “Personally, I just think rap music is the best thing out there, period. If you look at my deck in my car radio, you're always going to find a hip-hop tape; that's all I buy, that's all I live, that's all I listen to, that's all I love.”
   Emimem Quote


8. “The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.”
   Emimem Quote


9. “You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.”
   Emimem Quote


10. “You don't get another chance. Life is no Nintendo game.”
    Emimem Quote

Eminem Quote Images


I Do Say Things


If you have enemies..

Eminem Top 30 Biggest Hits

According to www.Billboard.com, here are top 30 of biggest hits of Eminem.

1. "Lose Yourself" - Eminem (video below)
2. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna (video below)
3. "Smack That" - Akon feat. Eminem
4. "Without Me" - Eminem
5. "Not Afraid" - Eminem
6. "Cleanin' Out My Closet" - Eminem
7. "The Real Slim Shady" - Eminem (video below)
8. "Just Lose It" - Eminem
9. "Forever" - Drake feat. Kanye West, Eminem and Lil Wayne
10. "Crack A Bottle" - Eminem feat. Dr. Dre and 50 Cent
11. "I Need A Doctor" - Eminem and Skylar Grey
12. "Shake That" - Eminem feat. Nate Dogg
13. "Mockingbird" - Eminem
14. "When I'm Gone" - Eminem
15. "Berzerk" - Eminem
16. "Sing For The Moment" - Eminem
17. "Superman" - Eminem
18. "Forgot About Dre" - Dr. Dre feat. Eminem
19. "We Made You" - Eminem
20. "No Love" - Eminem feat. Lil Wayne
21. "Encore" - Eminem featuring Dr. Dre
22. "Drop The World" - Lil Wayne feat. Eminem
23. "Like Toy Soldiers" - Eminem
24. "Stan" - Eminem feat. Dido
25. "My Name Is" - Eminem
26. "You Don't Know" - Eminem feat. 50 Cent, Cashis, Lloyd Banks
27. "That's All She Wrote" - T.I. feat. Eminem
28. "The Way I Am" - Eminem
29. "Beautiful" - Eminem
30. "A$$ Like That" - Eminem

Eminem Videos

Lose Yourself


Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna


Eminem - The Real Slim Shady (Edited)


Bonus Rihanna Pic


#Rihanna Image #3
(source=hotcelebshome.com)

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Top Ten Losing You Quotes

Probably one of the greatest fears in a relationship is the fear of losing the one that you love to someone else. I have collected, what I believe to be the top 10 best "Losing You" (I Dont Want To Lose You, I Still Love You, I Want You Back, Feelings, Never Let Me Go, Im Not Over You) quotes.

I hope you enjoy them and if you have any quotes that you would like to share, please add them in the comment s

1. 
   Loving you was my greatest accomplishment! Losing you was my greatest loss!


2. 
   "One of the hardest things in life, is watching the person that you love, love someone else!
   


3. In the end, I'll regret all the chances I didn't take with you. I'll regret all the moments I let slip by. I'll regret all the times I hid my feelings from you. And in end, my biggest regret was losing you..
   Quote by Mahmoud El Hallab


4. Some people will have to appreciate you by losing you.
   Quote by Unknown


5. Never let a relationship make you become something your not, because the truth is, when it's over they may never regret losing you, but you'll always regret losing yourself.
   Quote by Sushan Sharma


6. To all the jerks and rejects that walked into my life just to spit on me and walk out: THANK YOU! You made me stronger! You made me smarter! You made me realize that there are worse things in life than losing you. I could have BEEN you!
   Quote by Unknown


7. Find someone who isn't afraid to admit that they miss you. Someone who knows that you are not perfect, but treats you as if you are. Someone whose biggest fear is losing you. One who gives their heart completely. Someone who says I love you and means it...Last but not the least, find someone you wouldn't mind waking up with you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and your gray hair but STILL falls in love with you all over again.
   Quote by Unknown


8. A little bit of jealousy in a relationship is healthy, it's always nice to know that someone's afraid of losing you!
   Quote by Unknown


9. My nightmares are usually about losing you. I'm okay once I realize you're here.
   Quote by Unknown


10. I'd be lying if I told you losing you was something I could handle. !
    Quote by Unknown

More postings to check out

1. I started with nothing
2. Why do doughnuts have holes
3. Hungry crows
4. Rules to date my daughter.
5. IF you`re cross-eyed and have dyslexia

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Best Honesty Quotes

"Honesty is the best policy" is a classic quote about telling the truth and probably one of the best known quotes ever about being honest. But did you know that Stephen King, Mark Twain and even John Gotti, all have something to say about honesty? Well I have collected a few famous quotes about honesty (telling the truth) and added them below! Feel free to leave a comment (even a honest one) or even your favorite quote in my comment section!


I never lie because I don't fear anyone! You only lie when you are afraid! (John Gotti)


Honesty is a expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people!

1. It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. ~Henry Louis Mencken


2. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. ~Mark Twain


3. Fiction is the Truth inside the lie. ~ Stephen King


4. Honesty is never seen sitting astride the fence. ~Lemuel K. Washburn


5. A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future. ~Author Unknown


6. I never lie because I don't fear anyone. You only lie when you're afraid. ~John Gotti


7. There’s one way to find out if a man is honest ~ ask him. If he says, “Yes,” you know he is a crook. ~ Groucho Marx


8. Occasionally he stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened. ~Winston Churchill


9. Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. ~Winston Churchill


10. If you want to ruin the truth, stretch it. ~Author Unknown


11. The truth is more important than the facts. ~Frank Lloyd Wright


12. Like all valuable commodities, truth is often counterfeited. ~James Cardinal Gibbons


13. Respect for the truth is an acquired taste. ~Mark Van Doren


14. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on. ~Winston Churchill


15. Always telling the truth is no doubt better than always lying, although equally pathological. ~Robert Brault


16. If falsehood, like truth, had but one face, we would be more on equal terms. For we would consider the contrary of what the liar said to be certain. But the opposite of truth has a hundred thousand faces and an infinite field. ~Michel Eyquem de Montaigne


17. When a man lies, he murders some part of the world. ~Rospo Pallenberg and John Boorman, Excalibur, based on Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Malory


18. Honesty doesn't always pay, but dishonesty always costs. ~Michael Josephson


19. A lie is just the truth waiting to be itself. ~Terri Guillemets


20. It is not without good reason said, that he who has not a good memory should never take upon him the trade of lying. ~Michel de Montaigne, translated from French


21. People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty. ~Richard J. Needham


22. There is always a way to be honest without being brutal. ~Arthur Dobrin


23. If we were all given by magic the power to read each other's thoughts, I suppose the first effect would be to dissolve all friendships. ~Bertrand Russell


24. It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has produced in society. When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind as to subscribe his professional belief to things he does not believe he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime. ~Thomas Paine


25. Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half. ~Author Unknown


26. When truth is divided, errors multiply. ~Eli Siegel


27. Truth is such a rare thing, it is delightful to tell it. ~Emily Dickinson


28. Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit some people. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard


29. A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. ~Saki


30. Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships. ~Author Unknown


31. Somewhere between the honest truth and the deceptive lie is the deceptive truth and the honest lie. ~Robert Brault


32. It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. ~Homer Simpson, The Simpsons


33. There's one way to find out if a man is honest — ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. ~Groucho Marx


34. One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. ~Mark Twain


35. Someday a computer will give a wrong answer to spare someone's feelings, and man will have invented artificial intelligence. ~Robert Brault


36. It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. ~Jerome K. Jerome


37. Always tell the truth. If you can't always tell the truth, don't lie. ~Author Unknown


38. I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't. ~Mark Twain


39. Am I lying to you if I tell you the same lie I tell myself? ~Robert Brault


40. A little candor never leaves me. It is what protects me. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


41. Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie. ~Robert Brault


42. It is not difficult to deceive the first time, for the deceived possesses no antibodies; unvaccinated by suspicion, she overlooks lateness, accepts absurd excuses, permits the flimsiest patching to repair great rents in the quotidian. ~John Updike


43. No mask like open truth to cover lies, As to go naked is the best disguise. ~William Congreve


44. Truth that is naked is the most beautiful, and the simpler its expression the deeper is the impression it makes; this is partly because it gets unobstructed hold of the hearer’s mind without his being distracted by secondary thoughts, and partly because he feels that here he is not being corrupted or deceived by the arts of rhetoric, but that the whole effect is got from the thing itself. ~Arthur Schopenhauer, translated from German


45. Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so. ~Mark Twain


46. Reality is bad enough. Why should I tell the truth? ~Patrick Sky


47. Speak the truth, but leave immediately after. ~Slovenian Proverb


48. A lie will easily get you out of a scrape, and yet, strangely and beautifully, rapture possesses you when you have taken the scrape and left out the lie. ~Charles Edward Montague


49. Every lie is two lies — the lie we tell others and the lie we tell ourselves to justify it. ~Robert Brault


50. Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind. ~Austin O'Malley


51. The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousandfold. ~Aristotle


52. The most dangerous untruths are truths moderately distorted. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg


53. Dare to be true: nothing can need a lie: A fault, which needs it most, grows two thereby. ~George Herbert


54. Always tell the truth. Even if you have to make it up. ~Author Unknown


55. The cruelest lies are often told in silence. ~Adlai Stevenson


56. The truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilized life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do. ~E.V. Lucas


57. The highest compact we can make with our fellow is — "Let there be truth between us two forevermore." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


58. Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. ~Mark Twain


59. Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. ~Oscar Wilde


60. Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true. ~Robert Brault


61. The truth needs so little rehearsal. ~Barbara Kingsolver


62. A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. ~Mark Twain


63. Society can exist only on the basis that there is some amount of polished lying and that no one says exactly what he thinks. ~Lin Yutang


64. 
    I'm sorry..



65. As important in a trusting relationship as the truths you share are the lies you never have to tell. ~Robert Brault


66. Who lies for you will lie against you. ~Bosnian Proverb


67. No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar. ~Abraham Lincoln


68. Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world. ~Thomas Carlyle


69. A half truth is a whole lie. ~Yiddish Proverb


70. With lies you may get ahead in the world — but you can never go back. ~Russian proverb


71. Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. ~Josh Billings


72. The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff. ~Ambrose Bierce


73. A lie has speed, but truth has endurance. ~Edgar J. Mohn


74. When you stretch the truth, watch out for the snapback. ~Bill Copeland


75. Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to conserve it. ~Mark Twain


76. Worse than telling a lie is spending the rest of your life staying true to a lie. ~Robert Brault


77. A truth that's told with bad intent Beats all the lies you can invent. ~William Blake


78. We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger. ~Tad Williams


79. Truth fears no questions. ~Unknown


80. There are only two ways of telling the complete truth — anonymously and posthumously. ~Thomas Sowell


81. Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom. ~Thomas Jefferson


82. I don't mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy. ~Samuel Butler


83. There is no well-defined boundary between honesty and dishonesty. The frontiers of one blend with the outside limits of the other, and he who attempts to tread this dangerous ground may be sometimes in one domain and sometimes in the other. ~O. Henry, Rolling Stones, 1912


84. Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children. ~Oliver Wendell


85. The truth brings with it a great measure of absolution, always. ~R.D. Laing

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Best GrandParents Quotes

Are you fortunate enough to be a grandparent? Or maybe you have fond memories of spending time with your grandparents like I do? Grandparents are special people and mine were a big part of me becoming who I am today, that is why, I have collected the best quotes and images about grandparents! Feel free to check out a few of my favorites quotes related to grandparents.

1. 
   Grandparents To Do List


2. 
   "My Grandkids aren't spoiled! They are appreciated!"



3. The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy. ~Sam Levenson


4. Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown


5. What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars’ worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret


6. A house needs a grandma in it. ~Louisa May Alcott


7. Our grandchildren accept us for ourselves, without rebuke or effort to change us, as no one in our entire lives has ever done, not our parents, siblings, spouses, friends — and hardly ever our own grown children. ~Ruth Goode


8. Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal


9. I always give my grandkids a couple of quarters when they go home. It’s a bargain. ~Gene Perret


Grandparents Are So Easy
10. There’s no place like home... except Grandma’s. ~Author Unknown


11. If God had intended us to follow recipes, He wouldn’t have given us grandmothers. ~Linda Henley


12. Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you’re just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown


13. We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence, Grandmother was that person to me. ~Phyllis Theroux


14. It’s one of nature’s way that we often feel closer to distant generations than to the generation immediately preceding us. ~Igor Stravinsky


15. Being grandparents sufficiently removes us from the responsibilities so that we can be friends. ~Allan Frome


16. Grandchildren don’t stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them. ~Gene Perret


17. When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~Ogden Nash


18. Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. ~Marcy DeMaree


Grandma Quote

19. A married daughter with children puts you in danger of being catalogued as a first edition. ~Author Unknown


20. Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies. ~Author Unknown


21. Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation. ~Lois Wyse


22. Uncles and aunts, and cousins, are all very well, and fathers and mothers are not to be despised; but a grandmother, at holiday time, is worth them all. ~Fanny Fern


23. It is as grandmothers that our mothers come into the fullness of their grace. ~Christopher Morley


24. A grandfather is someone with silver in his hair and gold in his heart. ~Author Unknown


25. If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first. ~Lois Wyse


26. Grandfathers are for loving and fixing things. ~Author Unknown


27. They say genes skip generations. Maybe that’s why grandparents find their grandchildren so likeable. ~Joan McIntosh


28. Everyone needs to have access both to grandparents and grandchildren in order to be a full human being. ~Margaret Mead


29. To become a grandparent is to enjoy one of the few pleasures in life for which the consequences have already been paid. ~Robert Brault


30. Grandchildren are God’s way of compensating us for growing old. ~Mary H. Waldrip


31. You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. ~Proverb


32. An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret


33. If nothing is going well,
    call your grandmother.
    ~Italian Proverb


34. Elephants and grandchildren never forget. ~Andy Rooney


35. I don’t intentionally spoil my grandkids. It’s just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left. ~Gene Perret


36. The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. ~Dave Barry


37. Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap. ~Doug Larson


38. To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word "boo." ~Robert Brault


39. Posterity is the patriotic name for grandchildren. ~Art Linkletter


40. Grandmas don’t just say "that’s nice" — they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas. ~Author Unknown


41. A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do. ~Lois Wyse


42. I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have — if only for self-defense. ~Gene Perret


43. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent. ~Sam Levenson


44. Her grandmother, as she gets older, is not fading but rather becoming more concentrated. ~Paulette Bates Alden


45. "Grandkids are the reward, you get for not strangling your kids"



46. If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you’re the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale


47. Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old; it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother. ~G. Norman Collie


48. The history of our grandparents is remembered not with rose petals but in the laughter and tears of their children and their children’s children. It is into us that the lives of grandparents have gone. It is in us that their history becomes a future. ~Charles and Ann Morse


49. What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I’d like to say that grandparents are God’s gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. ~Bill Cosby


50. You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was. ~Irish Saying


51. A grandmother is a mother who has a second chance. ~Author Unknown


52. Being pretty on the inside means you don’t hit your brother and you eat all your peas — that’s what my grandma taught me. ~Author Unknown


53. Two things I dislike about my granddaughter — when she won’t take her afternoon nap, and when she won’t let me take mine. ~Gene Perret


54. A grandma’s heart is a patchwork of love. ~Author Unknown


55. No cowboy was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent pulling a baby picture out of a wallet. ~Author Unknown


56. Dads know a lot but Granddads know everything! ~Author Unknown


57. I would love to go back and travel the road not taken, if I knew at the end of it I’d find the same set of grandkids. ~Robert Brault


Grandma Visited
58. A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween. ~Erma Bombeck


59. My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel. ~Gene Perret


60. My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew. After I had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief, "You mean you can do all that, but you can’t play my Game Boy?" ~Author Unknown


61. Soon I will be an old, white-haired lady, into whose lap someone places a baby, saying, "Smile, Grandma!" — I, who myself so recently was photographed on my grandmother’s lap. ~Liv Ullmann


62. Just about the time a woman thinks her work is done, she becomes a grandmother. ~Edward H. Dreschnack


63. Grandmothers are just antique little girls. ~Author Unknown


64. Grandfathers are just antique little boys. ~Author Unknown


65. Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb


66. A child needs a grandparent, anybody’s grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world. ~Charles and Ann Morse


67. A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television. ~Author Unknown


68. What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudy Giuliani


69. Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. ~Rita Rudner


70. One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. ~Joy Hargrove


71. Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers. ~Lewis Mumford


72. A grandmother is a safe haven. ~Suzette Haden Elgin


73. Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet. ~Gene Perret


74. It’s amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one. ~Author Unknown


75. The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap. ~Author Unknown


76. I have a warm feeling after playing with my grandchildren. It’s the liniment working. ~Author Unknown


77. Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley


78. Grandmother — a wonderful mother with lots of practice. ~Author Unknown


79. On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town. ~Gene Perret


80. A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. ~Author Unknown


81. Grandma serves kisses, counsel, and cookies daily. ~Author Unknown


82. My grandkids believe I’m the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret


83. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is. ~Ellen DeGeneres


84. I loved their home. Everything smelled older, worn but safe; the food aroma had baked itself into the furniture. ~Susan Strasberg


85. My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~Henry Youngman


86. If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! ~Hannah Whithall Smith


87. It’s such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother — that’s why the world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown


88. Do you know why grandchildren are always so full of energy? They suck it out of their grandparents. ~Gene Perret


89. Varicose veins are the result of an improper selection of grandparents. ~William Osler


90. Surely, two of the most satisfying experiences in life must be those of being a grandchild or a grandparent. ~Donald A. Norberg


91. Grandparents are a delightful blend of laughter, caring deeds, wonderful stories, and love. ~Author Unknown


92. The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren. ~Doug Larson


93. A garden of love grows in a grandmother’s heart. ~Author Unknown


94. A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend. ~Author Unknown


95. Most grandmas have a touch of the scallywag. ~Helen Thomson



Saw it! Liked it! Told Grandma! GOT IT!

Nothing Going Well Call Grandma

96. 
    A Garden Of Love In Grandma Heart


97. 
    Dads know a lot, Grandpas know everything

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Cannatonic Educational Information

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Hugs

I love hugs, I enjoyed being hugged because it makes me feel good, cared for and loved! On that note, I have collected 35+ of the best quotes about hugs!

1. 
   A hug is like a bandage to a hurting wound!
   


2. Sometimes it's better to put love into hugs than to put it into words. ~Author Unknown


3. A hug is the shortest distance between friends. ~Author Unknown


4. Every time I think of you, it is like getting a hug from the inside out. ~Author Unknown


5. Have you hugged yourself today? ~Anonymous


6. A hug is two hearts wrapped in arms. ~Author Unknown


7. A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away. ~Bil Keane, "Family Circus"


8. Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you. ~Jacques Prévert


9. Everybody needs a hug. It changes your metabolism. ~Leo Buscaglia


10. You can't wrap love in a box, but you can wrap a person in a hug. ~Author Unknown


11. I have a present for you, but I need to borrow your arms for wrapping paper. ~Author Unknown


12. Hug Department: Always Open ~Author Unknown


13. I love hugging. I wish I was an octopus, so I could hug ten people at a time. ~Drew Barrymore


14. I will not play at tug o' war I'd rather play at hug o' war, Where everyone hugs Instead of tugs.... ~Shel Silverstein


15. A hug is a handshake from the heart. ~Author Unknown


16. You can't give a hug without getting a hug. ~Author Unknown


17. A hug delights and warms and charms, that must be why God gave us arms. ~Author Unknown


18. Hugs are the universal medicine. ~Author Unknown


19. A hug is a great gift - one size fits all, and it's easy to exchange. ~Author Unknown


20. Happiness is an unexpected hug. ~Author Unknown


21. If you're angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug — which is all the more reason to do so. It's hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that's precisely what happens when we hug each other. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997


22. There's nothing like a mama-hug. ~Terri Guillemets


23. A mom's hug lasts long after she lets go. ~Author Unknown


24. Hugs grease the wheels of the world. ~Author Unknown



A coffee, a hug and a smile


25. Your hugs and kisses are like the stars that light up my life when things get dark. ~Author Unknown


26. A hug is worth a thousand words. ~Author Unknown


27. Every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. ~Maya Angelou


28. I don't discriminate - I'm an equal-opportunity hugger. ~Author Unknown


29. Hugging has no unpleasant side effects and is all natural. There are no batteries to replace, it's inflation-proof and non-fattening with no monthly payments. It's non-taxable, non-polluting, and is, of course, fully refundable. ~Author Unknown


30. Hugs don't need new equipment, Special batteries or parts - Just open up your arms And open up your hearts. ~Johnny Ray Ryder, Jr., "A Simple Hug"


31. Never wait until tomorrow to hug someone you could hug today, because when you give one, you get one right back your way. ~Author Unknown


32. Sometimes it's better to put love into hugs than to put it into words. ~Author Unknown


33. A hug is the shortest distance between friends. ~Author Unknown


34. There's something in a simple hug That always warms the heart, It welcomes us back home And makes it easier to part.... ~Johnny Ray Ryder, Jr., "A Simple Hug"


35. No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


36. Arm ourselves for war? No! All the arms we need are for hugging. ~Author Unknown


37. A kiss without a hug is like a flower without the fragrance. ~Proverb


38. ...A hug is an amazing thing It's just the perfect way To show the love we're feeling But can't find the words to say.... ~Johnny Ray Ryder, Jr., "A Simple Hug"

You can't wrap love in a box but you can wrap a person in a hug


When I hug you,


A coffee, a hug and a smile

420 Gangsta

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Success Quotes

"The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.”

How would you define "success", for me success is "succe$$".

According to Dictionary.reference.com", success is
1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals.
2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like." ( for more success defintion )

Below you will find 50 of the best success related quotes that I have collected. You will find quotes from such successful people as Steve Jobs, Winston Churchill, Norman Vincent Peale, Donald Trump and even John Wayne. Feel free to leave your favorite success related quote in the comment section. Enjoy!

1. “People are not lazy. They simply have important goals – that is, goals that do not inspire them.”
   Quote by Tony Robbins


2. “Nobody talks of entrepreneurship as survival, but that’s exactly what it is.”
   Quote by Anita Roddick


3. “The best reason to start an organization is to make meaning; to create a product or service to make the world a better place.”
   Quote by Guy Kawasaki


4. “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”
   Quote by Maya Angelou


5. “Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”
   Quote by Winston Churchill


6. “The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.”
   Quote by Ralph Nader


7. “Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.”
   Quote by Benjamin Franklin


8. “Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together.”
   Quote by Napoleon Hill


9. "Make your product easier to buy than your competition, or you will find your customers buying from them, not you.”
   Quote by Mark Cuban


10. “The road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same.”
    Quote by Colin R. Davis


11. “Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions.”
    Quote by Tony Robbins


12. “You live longer once you realize that any time spent being unhappy is wasted.”
    Quote by Ruth E. Renkl


13. “The only true wisdom is knowing that you know nothing.”
    Quote by Socrates


14. “Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.”
    Quote by John Wooden


15. “Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.”
    Quote by Abraham Lincoln


16. ”If you are not willing to risk the usual you will have to settle for the ordinary.”
    Quote by Jim Rohn


17. “Trust because you are willing to accept the risk, not because it’s safe or certain.”
    Quote by Anonymous


18. “When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure you’ve got plenty to watch.”
    Quote by Anonymous


19. “Screw it, Let’s do it!”
    Quote by Richard Branson


20. “Be content to act, and leave the talking to others.”
    Quote by Baltasa


21. “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.”
    Quote by Steve Jobs


22. “The more you loose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.”
    Quote by Norman Vincent Peale


23. “If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to meet it!”
    Quote by Jonathan Winters


24. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
    Quote by Zig Ziglar


25. “Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.”
    Quote by John Wayne


26. “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”
    Quote by Les Brown


27. “The link between my experience as an entrepreneur and that of a politician is all in one word: freedom.”
    Quote by Silvio Berlusconi


28. “The entrepreneur builds an enterprise; the technician builds a job.”
    Quote by Michael Gerber


29. “A real entrepreneur is somebody who has no safety net underneath them.”
    Quote by Henry Kravis


30. “Most new jobs won’t come from our biggest employers. They will come from our smallest. We’ve got to do everything we can to make entrepreneurial dreams a reality.”
    Quote by Ross Perot


31. “My son is now an ‘entrepreneur’. That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.”
    Quote by Ted Turner


32. “As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.”
    Quote by Bill Gates


33. “As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, think big.”
    Quote by Donald Trump


34. “If you want to achieve excellence, you can get there today. As of this second, quit doing less-than-excellent work.”
    Quote by Thomas J Watson


35. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
    Quote by Thomas Edison


36. “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.”
    Quote by Vidal Sassoon


37. “Capital isn’t scarce; vision is.”
    Quote by Sam Walton


38. “Failure defeats losers, failure inspires winners.”
    Quote by Robert T. Kiyosaki


39. “Some people dream of great accomplishments, while others stay awake and do them.”
    Quote by Anonymous


40. “I will tell you how to become rich. Close the doors. Be fearful when others are greedy. Be greedy when others are fearful.”
    Quote by Warren Buffet


41. “Going into business for yourself, becoming an entrepreneur, is the modern-day equivalent of pioneering on the old frontier.”
    Quote by Paula Nelson


42. “Poor people have big TV. Rich people have big library.”
    Quote by Jim Rohn


43. “A goal is a dream with a deadline.”
    Quote by Napoleon Hill


44. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”
    Quote by Vinnie Rege


45. “Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.”
    Quote by Zig Ziglar


46. “A friendship founded on business is a good deal better than a business founded on friendship.”
    Quote by John D. Rockefeller


47. “I’ve been blessed to find people who are smarter than I am, and they help me to execute the vision I have.”
    Quote by Russell Simmons


48. “I find that when you have a real interest in life and a curious life, that sleep is not the most important thing.”
    Quote by Martha Stewart


49. “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”
    Quote by Albert Einstein


50. “If you don’t have a competitive advantage, don’t compete.”
    quote by Jack Welch

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