How Does A Blonde Get Pregnant? Answer In Posting #BlondeJoke

Here is today's collection of the three best, funny, short and yet dumb blonde jokes! Enjoy, maybe share your favorite short (not height wise) blonde joke in the comment section of the blog. Even share them on Facebook or Twitter!

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1. Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
   A: And I thought blondes were dumb!



2. A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.
   
   She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks.
   
   Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping and her and asking if someone else could have a go.
   
   The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: “Can’t you see I’m winning?”



3. A blonde called the local city council asking them to remove the deer crossing sign near her home since many deer were being hit and killed there.
   
   Her reason? She didn’t want the deer to cross there anymore!

Main phrases (keywords) that are used to find this blog are funny blonde jokes, funny jokes, dumb jokes, dumb blonde, dumb blonde jokes, short blonde jokes, short jokes and blonde joke

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Best Short Jokes 9

1. A police officer sees a blonde woman driving and knitting at the same time. Exasperated, he drives up next to her and screams out the window, "Pull over!" The blonde responds, "No Silly, it's a scarf."


2. I know some jokes about unemployment but they need some work.


3. Q: What did the alien say to the garden?
   A: Take me to your weeder.


4. Q: Did you hear about that new broom?
   A: It's sweeping the nation!


5. Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
   Brunette: "I don’t know."
   Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
   



Short Blonde Joke

6. A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a six foot tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is six foot two, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is six foot five, pushing 300, and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
   The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."


7. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
   A: Never mind, it's over your head!


8. Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?
   USB


9. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
   A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.


10. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it.
    A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.
    The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.
    The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.
    The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

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Today's Best deal at Amazon

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Today's "Blonde" Joke 6

Blonde and Fireman joke

Grieving Blonde.

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'

'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.'

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. 'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.

'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'

Please note that this posting is no way meant to degrade or insult anyone!Its only intention is to make you laugh!

Classic Blonde Joke 1
Classic Blonde Joke 2
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Todays "Blonde" Joke 5!

Walmart Shopper..

A blonde was shopping at WalMart and came across a shiny silver thermos.

She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos . . . It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold."

"Wow", said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!"

So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that," he asked?

"Why, that's a thermos . . . It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold",she replied.

Her boss asked, "So, what do you have in it?"

The blond replied, "Two popsicles and some coffee."

Please note that this posting is no way meant to degrade or insult anyone!Its only intention is to make you laugh!

Classic Blonde Joke 1
Classic Blonde Joke 2
More Blonde Jokes 3
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More Blonde Jokes 6

Todays "Blonde" Joke 4

Blonde shopping at Walmart Joke

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Car Repairs..

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.

Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.

The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.

He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe.

Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?'

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.'

Please note that this posting is no way meant to degrade or insult anyone!Its only intention is to make you laugh!

Classic Blonde Joke 1
Classic Blonde Joke 2
More Blonde Jokes 3
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More Blonde Jokes 6

Today's "Blonde" Joke 3

Blonde and a barking dog!

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You might have to think twice about this one....

A blonde hurried into the Emergency Room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

'How did this happen?' the emergency Room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'

'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest...'

'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened
I'm not shooting myself in the mouth'

'So then?'

'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.'

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Please note that this posting is no way meant to degrade or insult anyone!Its only intention is to make you laugh!

More Classic Blonde Jokes 1
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Today's "Blonde" Joke 2

This is how, I feel when the Internet is not working

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Two Blondes Doing Carpentry Work...

Lynn and Chelsea were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house.

Lynn was nailing down house siding. She would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it.

Chelsea, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'

Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, so I throw them away.'

Chelsea got completely upset and yelled,
'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Blonde Joke #2~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

They had gone to see 'Closed For The Winter.'


Please note that this posting is no way meant to degrade or insult anyone! Its only intention is to make you laugh!

Classic Blonde Joke 1
More Blonde Jokes 3
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Image courtesy of http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Caveman_5.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Caveman_5.jpg

Todays "Blonde" Joke 1

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Two Blondes Doing Carpentry Work

Blonde And the Barking Dog.

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog.

It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.

The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".

She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"

The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard. Let's see how THEY like it!
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Please note that this posting is no way meant to degrade or insult anyone!Its only intention is to make you laugh.

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If a mute swears does his mother was his hands with soap? Things to Ponder?

Another posting of have you ever wondered?

1. How do you know when it is time to tune your bagpipes?
   
2. If someone with multiple personalities robs a bank who is charged with the crime?
   
3. If a mute swears does his mother was his hands with soap?
   
4. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
   
5. Corn oil is made from corn, Olive oil is made from olives, so what does baby oil come from?
   

Feel free to add any "things to Ponder" here by leaving a comment with them!

Today's Joke
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when........

the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
Last updated October 20th 2013


"If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?!"
If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?! / ¡¿dɐos ɥʇıʍ spuɐɥ sıɥ ɥsɐʍ ɹǝɥʇoɯ sıɥ sǝop sɹɐǝʍs ǝʇnɯ ɐ ɟı