Today's "Blonde" Joke 3

Blonde and a barking dog!

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You might have to think twice about this one....

A blonde hurried into the Emergency Room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

'How did this happen?' the emergency Room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'

'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest...'

'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened
I'm not shooting myself in the mouth'

'So then?'

'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.'

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Please note that this posting is no way meant to degrade or insult anyone!Its only intention is to make you laugh!

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Today's "Blonde" Joke 2

This is how, I feel when the Internet is not working

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Two Blondes Doing Carpentry Work...

Lynn and Chelsea were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house.

Lynn was nailing down house siding. She would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it.

Chelsea, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'

Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, so I throw them away.'

Chelsea got completely upset and yelled,
'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Blonde Joke #2~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

They had gone to see 'Closed For The Winter.'


Please note that this posting is no way meant to degrade or insult anyone! Its only intention is to make you laugh!

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Image courtesy of http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Caveman_5.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Caveman_5.jpg

Todays "Blonde" Joke 1

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Two Blondes Doing Carpentry Work

Blonde And the Barking Dog.

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog.

It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.

The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".

She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"

The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard. Let's see how THEY like it!
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Please note that this posting is no way meant to degrade or insult anyone!Its only intention is to make you laugh.

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Today's Joke-Be Careful

Just thought I share a joke or two that I heard or came across recently! Hope you find them funny!~~Today's Joke ~~
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur and be careful.'


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Today's Joke - Rose

Just thought I share a joke or two that I heard or came across recently! Hope you find them funny!~~Today's Joke ~~

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'


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updated by BrianMc!