TEACHER: Now, Brian, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
BRIAN: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Brian, why do you always get so dirty?
BRIAN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Brian, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
BRIAN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Brian, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
BRIAN: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Kelly, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
KELLY: Me!
TEACHER: Brian, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
BRIAN: A teacher.
TEACHER: Brian, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
BRIAN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
BRIAN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Kelly, go to the map and find North America
KELLY: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Kelly.
TEACHER: Brian, your composition on ‘My Dog’ Is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
BRIAN: No, sir. It’s the same dog.
TEACHER: Kelly, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’
KELLY: I is..
TEACHER: No, Kelly…… Always say, ‘I am.’
KELLY: All right…; ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
TEACHER: Brian, what is the chemical formula for water?
BRIAN: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
BRIAN: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
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