Showing posts with label best. Show all posts
Showing posts with label best. Show all posts


Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies? #Joke

Looking for a laugh of two? Below, we have today's posting of the top 10m best jokes that we found online!

Kidnapping at school, humor

    Here is today' collection of the top ten favorite jokes of the day!
  1. Little Brian,"The principal is so dumb!"
    Girl, "Do you know who I am?"
    Little Brian, "No..."
    Girl, "I am the principal's daughter!"
    Little Brian, "Do you know who I am?"
    Little Brian, "Good!" and walks away*

  2. Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.

  3. Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
    A: The scientists were brainstorming!

  4. Q: Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
    A: Neither, they both weigh a ton!

  5. On wall in ladies room "My husband follows me everywhere..."
    Written just below it "I do not".

  6. When I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for her birthday.
    She said "Just gimme something with diamonds."
    That's why I got her a pack of cards.

  7. Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
    A: One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!

  8. Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
    A monkey!

  9. "Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

  10. Q: Why is Basketball such a messy sport?
    A: Because you dribble on the floor!

  11. For More Short Jokes

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Best Short Jokes 9

  1. A police officer sees a blonde woman driving and knitting at the same time. Exasperated, he drives up next to her and screams out the window, "Pull over!" The blonde responds, "No Silly, it's a scarf."

  2. I know some jokes about unemployment but they need some work.

  3. Q: What did the alien say to the garden?
    A: Take me to your weeder.

  4. Q: Did you hear about that new broom?
    A: It's sweeping the nation!

  5. Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
    Brunette: "I don’t know."
    Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

  6. 10 best short joke,Genie,blonde,BrianMc,
    Short Blonde Joke

  7. A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a six foot tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is six foot two, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is six foot five, pushing 300, and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
    The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

  8. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
    A: Never mind, it's over your head!

  9. Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?

  10. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
    A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

  11. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it.
    A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.
    The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.
    The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.
    The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

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Diabetic Inspirational Quote - 4

"Please don't sugarcoat it, I am a diabetic." and they will tell you that "laughter is the best medicine. Unless you are a diabetic, then insulin is probably better" are just two of today's inspirational quotes for diabetics.

Hope, you enjoy these quotes and find them, inpsirational!

  1. Diabetes Thoughts

  2. Please don't sugarcoat it, I am a diabetic.

  3. Blood sugar- The world's best scrapegooat.

  4. Laughter is the best medicine. Well, unless you are a diabetic, then insulin is probably better

  5. "Walk for a cure?" Wouldn't it be faster if we ran?

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Today's Ten Best Short Jokes 3

Top 10 Short Jokes

  1. Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
    A: It barked with de-light!

  2. I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.

  3. A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asks. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

  4. A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

  5. A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothing special.We just flat out tell them they're gonna die.

  6. Q. Who is the poorest guy in West Virginia?
    A. The Tooth Fairy

  7. Q: Why can't a leopard hide?
    A: Because he's always spotted!

  8. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

  9. Q: What belongs to you but others use more?
    A: Your name

  10. Q: What do you call a magician on a plane?
    A: A flying sorcerer!

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Best Short Jokes 8

  • The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.

  • My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.

  • What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.

  • You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.

  • There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.

  • For More Best Short Jokes on Pinterest
    Best Short Jokes 2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7

    What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé, Best Short Joke 8,
    What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.

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    Best Short Jokes 4

    Did you hear about the song that I wrote about a tortilla? (For answer, read below)
    Or do you know what kinda of shoes that ninjas wear? (See below)
    Did I get your attention? Do you know the answers (without peeking?) Well then below you will find the humorous answers to those question and there more short jokes that I believe will make you laugh!

    1. What kind of shoes does a ninjas wear? Sneakers.

    2. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.

    3. I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.

    4. PMS should just be called ovary-acting.

    5. Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells.

    For More Best Short Jokes
    What kind of shoes does a ninjas wear? Sneakers, Best Short Joke 4, BrianMc,
    What kind of shoes does a ninjas wear? Sneakers

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    Best Short Jokes 3

    To continue with my previous best short jokes postings that I found online. Here are five more funny short jokes that hopefully will make you laugh!
    If you know of a short funny joke, please leave it in the comments, and I just might add it to my next posting and credit you! Enjoy

    1. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.

    2. So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.

    3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    4. Just went to an emotional wedding.
      Even the cake was in tiers.

    5. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

    6. For More Best Short Jokes
    Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers. Best Short Joke 3,BrianMc,
    Just went to an emotional wedding.Even the cake was in tiers.

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    Eminem Best Quotes And Images

    When dealing with backstabbers, eminem quote,adapted by BrianMc
    When Dealing With Backstabbers..

    Are you a fan of rap superstar, Eminem? I have collected a few of his best 10 quotes, the top 30 of his biggest hits, a few picture quotes and even throw in a video or two (maybe 3)

    1. "I do say things that I think will shock people. But I don't do things to shock people. I'm not trying to be the next Tupac, but I don't know how long I'm going to be on this planet. So while I'm here, I might as well make the most of it."
      Emimem Quote

    2. "Dealing with backstabbers, there was one thing I learned. They're only powerful when you got your back turned."
      Emimem Quote

    3. “If you have enemies, good that means you stood up for something.”
      Emimem Quote

    4. “Behind every sucessful person lies a pack of haters”
      Emimem Quote

    5. “Love is just a word, but you bring it definition.”
      Emimem Quote

    6. “I always wished for this, but it's almost turning into more of a nightmare than a dream.”
      Emimem Quote

    7. “Personally, I just think rap music is the best thing out there, period. If you look at my deck in my car radio, you're always going to find a hip-hop tape; that's all I buy, that's all I live, that's all I listen to, that's all I love.”
      Emimem Quote

    8. “The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.”
      Emimem Quote

    9. “You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.”
      Emimem Quote

    10. “You don't get another chance. Life is no Nintendo game.”
      Emimem Quote

    Eminem Quote Images

    I don't care, Emimem quote!
    "I don't care..Emimem quote"

    I do say things, Eminem quote, adapted by BrianMc
    I Do Say Things

    If you have enemies, eminem quote, adapted by BrianMc
    If you have enemies..

    Eminem Top 30 Biggest Hits

    According to, here are top 30 of biggest hits of Eminem.

    1. "Lose Yourself" - Eminem (video below)
    2. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna (video below)
    3. "Smack That" - Akon feat. Eminem
    4. "Without Me" - Eminem
    5. "Not Afraid" - Eminem
    6. "Cleanin' Out My Closet" - Eminem
    7. "The Real Slim Shady" - Eminem (video below)
    8. "Just Lose It" - Eminem
    9. "Forever" - Drake feat. Kanye West, Eminem and Lil Wayne
    10. "Crack A Bottle" - Eminem feat. Dr. Dre and 50 Cent
    11. "I Need A Doctor" - Eminem and Skylar Grey
    12. "Shake That" - Eminem feat. Nate Dogg
    13. "Mockingbird" - Eminem
    14. "When I'm Gone" - Eminem
    15. "Berzerk" - Eminem
    16. "Sing For The Moment" - Eminem
    17. "Superman" - Eminem
    18. "Forgot About Dre" - Dr. Dre feat. Eminem
    19. "We Made You" - Eminem
    20. "No Love" - Eminem feat. Lil Wayne
    21. "Encore" - Eminem featuring Dr. Dre
    22. "Drop The World" - Lil Wayne feat. Eminem
    23. "Like Toy Soldiers" - Eminem
    24. "Stan" - Eminem feat. Dido
    25. "My Name Is" - Eminem
    26. "You Don't Know" - Eminem feat. 50 Cent, Cashis, Lloyd Banks
    27. "That's All She Wrote" - T.I. feat. Eminem
    28. "The Way I Am" - Eminem
    29. "Beautiful" - Eminem
    30. "A$$ Like That" - Eminem

    Eminem Videos

    Lose Yourself

    Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna

    Eminem - The Real Slim Shady (Edited)

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    Top Ten Losing You Quotes

    Probably one of the greatest fears in a relationship is the fear of losing the one that you love to someone else. I have collected, what I believe to be the top 10 best "Losing You" (I Dont Want To Lose You, I Still Love You, I Want You Back, Feelings, Never Let Me Go, Im Not Over You) quotes.

    I hope you enjoy them and if you have any quotes that you would like to share, please add them in the comment s

    1. Loving you,losing you quote,BrianMc
      Loving you was my greatest accomplishment! Losing you was my greatest loss!

    2. "One of the hardest things in life, is watching the person that you love, love someone else!

    3. In the end, I'll regret all the chances I didn't take with you. I'll regret all the moments I let slip by. I'll regret all the times I hid my feelings from you. And in end, my biggest regret was losing you..
      Quote by Mahmoud El Hallab

    4. Some people will have to appreciate you by losing you.
      Quote by Unknown

    5. Never let a relationship make you become something your not, because the truth is, when it's over they may never regret losing you, but you'll always regret losing yourself.
      Quote by Sushan Sharma

    6. To all the jerks and rejects that walked into my life just to spit on me and walk out: THANK YOU! You made me stronger! You made me smarter! You made me realize that there are worse things in life than losing you. I could have BEEN you!
      Quote by Unknown

    7. Find someone who isn't afraid to admit that they miss you. Someone who knows that you are not perfect, but treats you as if you are. Someone whose biggest fear is losing you. One who gives their heart completely. Someone who says I love you and means it...Last but not the least, find someone you wouldn't mind waking up with you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and your gray hair but STILL falls in love with you all over again.
      Quote by Unknown

    8. A little bit of jealousy in a relationship is healthy, it's always nice to know that someone's afraid of losing you!
      Quote by Unknown

    9. My nightmares are usually about losing you. I'm okay once I realize you're here.
      Quote by Unknown

    10. I'd be lying if I told you losing you was something I could handle. !
      Quote by Unknown

    More postings to check out
    1. I started with nothing
    2. Why do doughnuts have holes
    3. Hungry crows
    4. Rules to date my daughter.
    5. IF you`re cross-eyed and have dyslexia

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    Best Honesty Quotes

    "Honesty is the best policy" is a classic quote about telling the truth and probably one of the best known quotes ever about being honest. But did you know that Stephen King, Mark Twain and even John Gotti, all have something to say about honesty? Well I have collected a few famous quotes about honesty (telling the truth) and added them below! Feel free to leave a comment (even a honest one) or even your favorite quote in my comment section!

    honesty quote, John Gotti, best
    I never lie because I don't fear anyone! You only lie when you are afraid! (John Gotti)

    honesty quote, best
    Honesty is a expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people!

    1. It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. ~Henry Louis Mencken

    2. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. ~Mark Twain

    3. Fiction is the Truth inside the lie. ~ Stephen King

    4. Honesty is never seen sitting astride the fence. ~Lemuel K. Washburn

    5. A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future. ~Author Unknown

    6. I never lie because I don't fear anyone. You only lie when you're afraid. ~John Gotti

    7. There’s one way to find out if a man is honest ~ ask him. If he says, “Yes,” you know he is a crook. ~ Groucho Marx

    8. Occasionally he stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened. ~Winston Churchill

    9. Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. ~Winston Churchill

    10. If you want to ruin the truth, stretch it. ~Author Unknown

    11. The truth is more important than the facts. ~Frank Lloyd Wright

    12. Like all valuable commodities, truth is often counterfeited. ~James Cardinal Gibbons

    13. Respect for the truth is an acquired taste. ~Mark Van Doren

    14. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on. ~Winston Churchill

    15. Always telling the truth is no doubt better than always lying, although equally pathological. ~Robert Brault

    16. If falsehood, like truth, had but one face, we would be more on equal terms. For we would consider the contrary of what the liar said to be certain. But the opposite of truth has a hundred thousand faces and an infinite field. ~Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

    17. When a man lies, he murders some part of the world. ~Rospo Pallenberg and John Boorman, Excalibur, based on Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Malory

    18. Honesty doesn't always pay, but dishonesty always costs. ~Michael Josephson

    19. A lie is just the truth waiting to be itself. ~Terri Guillemets

    20. It is not without good reason said, that he who has not a good memory should never take upon him the trade of lying. ~Michel de Montaigne, translated from French

    21. People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty. ~Richard J. Needham

    22. There is always a way to be honest without being brutal. ~Arthur Dobrin

    23. If we were all given by magic the power to read each other's thoughts, I suppose the first effect would be to dissolve all friendships. ~Bertrand Russell

    24. It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has produced in society. When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind as to subscribe his professional belief to things he does not believe he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime. ~Thomas Paine

    25. Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half. ~Author Unknown

    26. When truth is divided, errors multiply. ~Eli Siegel

    27. Truth is such a rare thing, it is delightful to tell it. ~Emily Dickinson

    28. Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit some people. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

    29. A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. ~Saki

    30. Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships. ~Author Unknown

    31. Somewhere between the honest truth and the deceptive lie is the deceptive truth and the honest lie. ~Robert Brault

    32. It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. ~Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

    33. There's one way to find out if a man is honest — ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. ~Groucho Marx

    34. One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. ~Mark Twain

    35. Someday a computer will give a wrong answer to spare someone's feelings, and man will have invented artificial intelligence. ~Robert Brault

    36. It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. ~Jerome K. Jerome

    37. Always tell the truth. If you can't always tell the truth, don't lie. ~Author Unknown

    38. I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't. ~Mark Twain

    39. Am I lying to you if I tell you the same lie I tell myself? ~Robert Brault

    40. A little candor never leaves me. It is what protects me. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

    41. Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie. ~Robert Brault

    42. It is not difficult to deceive the first time, for the deceived possesses no antibodies; unvaccinated by suspicion, she overlooks lateness, accepts absurd excuses, permits the flimsiest patching to repair great rents in the quotidian. ~John Updike

    43. No mask like open truth to cover lies, As to go naked is the best disguise. ~William Congreve

    44. Truth that is naked is the most beautiful, and the simpler its expression the deeper is the impression it makes; this is partly because it gets unobstructed hold of the hearer’s mind without his being distracted by secondary thoughts, and partly because he feels that here he is not being corrupted or deceived by the arts of rhetoric, but that the whole effect is got from the thing itself. ~Arthur Schopenhauer, translated from German

    45. Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so. ~Mark Twain

    46. Reality is bad enough. Why should I tell the truth? ~Patrick Sky

    47. Speak the truth, but leave immediately after. ~Slovenian Proverb

    48. A lie will easily get you out of a scrape, and yet, strangely and beautifully, rapture possesses you when you have taken the scrape and left out the lie. ~Charles Edward Montague

    49. Every lie is two lies — the lie we tell others and the lie we tell ourselves to justify it. ~Robert Brault

    50. Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind. ~Austin O'Malley

    51. The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousandfold. ~Aristotle

    52. The most dangerous untruths are truths moderately distorted. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

    53. Dare to be true: nothing can need a lie: A fault, which needs it most, grows two thereby. ~George Herbert

    54. Always tell the truth. Even if you have to make it up. ~Author Unknown

    55. The cruelest lies are often told in silence. ~Adlai Stevenson

    56. The truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilized life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do. ~E.V. Lucas

    57. The highest compact we can make with our fellow is — "Let there be truth between us two forevermore." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

    58. Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. ~Mark Twain

    59. Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. ~Oscar Wilde

    60. Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true. ~Robert Brault

    61. The truth needs so little rehearsal. ~Barbara Kingsolver

    62. A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. ~Mark Twain

    63. Society can exist only on the basis that there is some amount of polished lying and that no one says exactly what he thinks. ~Lin Yutang

    64. I'm sorry..

    65. As important in a trusting relationship as the truths you share are the lies you never have to tell. ~Robert Brault

    66. Who lies for you will lie against you. ~Bosnian Proverb

    67. No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar. ~Abraham Lincoln

    68. Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world. ~Thomas Carlyle

    69. A half truth is a whole lie. ~Yiddish Proverb

    70. With lies you may get ahead in the world — but you can never go back. ~Russian proverb

    71. Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. ~Josh Billings

    72. The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff. ~Ambrose Bierce

    73. A lie has speed, but truth has endurance. ~Edgar J. Mohn

    74. When you stretch the truth, watch out for the snapback. ~Bill Copeland

    75. Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to conserve it. ~Mark Twain

    76. Worse than telling a lie is spending the rest of your life staying true to a lie. ~Robert Brault

    77. A truth that's told with bad intent Beats all the lies you can invent. ~William Blake

    78. We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger. ~Tad Williams

    79. Truth fears no questions. ~Unknown

    80. There are only two ways of telling the complete truth — anonymously and posthumously. ~Thomas Sowell

    81. Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom. ~Thomas Jefferson

    82. I don't mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy. ~Samuel Butler

    83. There is no well-defined boundary between honesty and dishonesty. The frontiers of one blend with the outside limits of the other, and he who attempts to tread this dangerous ground may be sometimes in one domain and sometimes in the other. ~O. Henry, Rolling Stones, 1912

    84. Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children. ~Oliver Wendell

    85. The truth brings with it a great measure of absolution, always. ~R.D. Laing

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    Best GrandParents Quotes

    Are you fortunate enough to be a grandparent? Or maybe you have fond memories of spending time with your grandparents like I do? Grandparents are special people and mine were a big part of me becoming who I am today, that is why, I have collected the best quotes and images about grandparents! Feel free to check out a few of my favorites quotes related to grandparents.

    1. Grandparents To Do List
      Grandparents To Do List

    2. My Grandkids aren't spoiled! They are appreciated!
      "My Grandkids aren't spoiled! They are appreciated!"

    3. The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy. ~Sam Levenson

    4. Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown

    5. What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars’ worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret

    6. A house needs a grandma in it. ~Louisa May Alcott

    7. Our grandchildren accept us for ourselves, without rebuke or effort to change us, as no one in our entire lives has ever done, not our parents, siblings, spouses, friends — and hardly ever our own grown children. ~Ruth Goode

    8. Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal

    9. I always give my grandkids a couple of quarters when they go home. It’s a bargain. ~Gene Perret

    10. Grandparents are so easy quote
      Grandparents Are So Easy
    11. There’s no place like home... except Grandma’s. ~Author Unknown

    12. If God had intended us to follow recipes, He wouldn’t have given us grandmothers. ~Linda Henley

    13. Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you’re just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown

    14. We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence, Grandmother was that person to me. ~Phyllis Theroux

    15. It’s one of nature’s way that we often feel closer to distant generations than to the generation immediately preceding us. ~Igor Stravinsky

    16. Being grandparents sufficiently removes us from the responsibilities so that we can be friends. ~Allan Frome

    17. Grandchildren don’t stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them. ~Gene Perret

    18. When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~Ogden Nash

    19. Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. ~Marcy DeMaree

    20. Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting, BrianMc,
      Grandma Quote

    21. A married daughter with children puts you in danger of being catalogued as a first edition. ~Author Unknown

    22. Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies. ~Author Unknown

    23. Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation. ~Lois Wyse

    24. Uncles and aunts, and cousins, are all very well, and fathers and mothers are not to be despised; but a grandmother, at holiday time, is worth them all. ~Fanny Fern

    25. It is as grandmothers that our mothers come into the fullness of their grace. ~Christopher Morley

    26. A grandfather is someone with silver in his hair and gold in his heart. ~Author Unknown

    27. If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first. ~Lois Wyse

    28. Grandfathers are for loving and fixing things. ~Author Unknown

    29. They say genes skip generations. Maybe that’s why grandparents find their grandchildren so likeable. ~Joan McIntosh

    30. Everyone needs to have access both to grandparents and grandchildren in order to be a full human being. ~Margaret Mead

    31. To become a grandparent is to enjoy one of the few pleasures in life for which the consequences have already been paid. ~Robert Brault

    32. Grandchildren are God’s way of compensating us for growing old. ~Mary H. Waldrip

    33. You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. ~Proverb

    34. An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret

    35. If nothing is going well,
      call your grandmother.
      ~Italian Proverb

    36. Elephants and grandchildren never forget. ~Andy Rooney

    37. I don’t intentionally spoil my grandkids. It’s just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left. ~Gene Perret

    38. The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. ~Dave Barry

    39. Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap. ~Doug Larson

    40. To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word "boo." ~Robert Brault

    41. Posterity is the patriotic name for grandchildren. ~Art Linkletter

    42. Grandmas don’t just say "that’s nice" — they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas. ~Author Unknown

    43. A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do. ~Lois Wyse

    44. I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have — if only for self-defense. ~Gene Perret

    45. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent. ~Sam Levenson

    46. Her grandmother, as she gets older, is not fading but rather becoming more concentrated. ~Paulette Bates Alden

    47. "Grandkids are the reward, you get for not strangling your kids"

    48. If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you’re the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale

    49. Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old; it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother. ~G. Norman Collie

    50. The history of our grandparents is remembered not with rose petals but in the laughter and tears of their children and their children’s children. It is into us that the lives of grandparents have gone. It is in us that their history becomes a future. ~Charles and Ann Morse

    51. What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I’d like to say that grandparents are God’s gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. ~Bill Cosby

    52. You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was. ~Irish Saying

    53. A grandmother is a mother who has a second chance. ~Author Unknown

    54. Being pretty on the inside means you don’t hit your brother and you eat all your peas — that’s what my grandma taught me. ~Author Unknown

    55. Two things I dislike about my granddaughter — when she won’t take her afternoon nap, and when she won’t let me take mine. ~Gene Perret

    56. A grandma’s heart is a patchwork of love. ~Author Unknown

    57. No cowboy was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent pulling a baby picture out of a wallet. ~Author Unknown

    58. Dads know a lot but Granddads know everything! ~Author Unknown

    59. I would love to go back and travel the road not taken, if I knew at the end of it I’d find the same set of grandkids. ~Robert Brault

    60. You can tell when Grandma visit!
      Grandma Visited
    61. A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween. ~Erma Bombeck

    62. My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel. ~Gene Perret

    63. My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew. After I had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief, "You mean you can do all that, but you can’t play my Game Boy?" ~Author Unknown

    64. Soon I will be an old, white-haired lady, into whose lap someone places a baby, saying, "Smile, Grandma!" — I, who myself so recently was photographed on my grandmother’s lap. ~Liv Ullmann

    65. Just about the time a woman thinks her work is done, she becomes a grandmother. ~Edward H. Dreschnack

    66. Grandmothers are just antique little girls. ~Author Unknown

    67. Grandfathers are just antique little boys. ~Author Unknown

    68. Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb

    69. A child needs a grandparent, anybody’s grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world. ~Charles and Ann Morse

    70. A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television. ~Author Unknown

    71. What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudy Giuliani

    72. Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. ~Rita Rudner

    73. One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. ~Joy Hargrove

    74. Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers. ~Lewis Mumford

    75. A grandmother is a safe haven. ~Suzette Haden Elgin

    76. Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet. ~Gene Perret

    77. It’s amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one. ~Author Unknown

    78. The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap. ~Author Unknown

    79. I have a warm feeling after playing with my grandchildren. It’s the liniment working. ~Author Unknown

    80. Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley

    81. Grandmother — a wonderful mother with lots of practice. ~Author Unknown

    82. On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town. ~Gene Perret

    83. A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. ~Author Unknown

    84. Grandma serves kisses, counsel, and cookies daily. ~Author Unknown

    85. My grandkids believe I’m the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret

    86. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is. ~Ellen DeGeneres

    87. I loved their home. Everything smelled older, worn but safe; the food aroma had baked itself into the furniture. ~Susan Strasberg

    88. My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~Henry Youngman

    89. If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! ~Hannah Whithall Smith

    90. It’s such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother — that’s why the world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown

    91. Do you know why grandchildren are always so full of energy? They suck it out of their grandparents. ~Gene Perret

    92. Varicose veins are the result of an improper selection of grandparents. ~William Osler

    93. Surely, two of the most satisfying experiences in life must be those of being a grandchild or a grandparent. ~Donald A. Norberg

    94. Grandparents are a delightful blend of laughter, caring deeds, wonderful stories, and love. ~Author Unknown

    95. The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren. ~Doug Larson

    96. A garden of love grows in a grandmother’s heart. ~Author Unknown

    97. A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend. ~Author Unknown

    98. Most grandmas have a touch of the scallywag. ~Helen Thomson

    99. Saw it! Liked it! Told Grandma! GOT IT!,BrianMc,
      Saw it! Liked it! Told Grandma! GOT IT!

      Nothing Going Well Call Grandma (
      Nothing Going Well Call Grandma

    100. A Garden Of Love In Grandma Heart
      A Garden Of Love In Grandma Heart

    101. Dads know a lot, Grandpas know everything-(,,BrianMcIntomney)
      Dads know a lot, Grandpas know everything

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