Today's Best Puns 13

Here are my favorite puns of the day.

1. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.


2. The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.


3. How do you organize a space party? You Planet.


4. It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.


5. For a while, Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act, but he was just going through a stage.

Best Puns

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Today's Favorite Puns

Here are a few of my favorite puns!

1. I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.


2. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.


3. Which USA president was the least guilty? Abraham Lincoln, he was in a cent.


4. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.


5. The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.

More postings with puns, for your enjoyment!

1. A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.


2. I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.


3. When Peter Pan punches, they Neverland.


4. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.


5. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

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Today's Best Pun - 12

Do you find "puns" funny? Do you think that puns are a great play on words?
I have collected (see source) for some of the best and funniest puns online!
Check out the favorite 5 best puns of the day, plus a bonus pun! Oh, yeah, feel free to add your favorite pun in the comment section!

1. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


2. A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.


3. Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.


4. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.


5. I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.


6. When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

Atheists Puns



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Today's Best Pun - 11

Do you find "puns" funny? Do you think that puns are a great play on words?
I have collected (see source) for some of the best and funniest puns online!
Check out the favorite 5 best puns of the day! Oh, yeah, feel free to add your favorite pun in the comment section!

1. A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.


2. The shoemaker did not deny his apprentice anything he needed. He gave his awl.


3. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.


4. I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn't find one.


5. Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

420 Gangsta

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Today's Best Pun - 10

Do you find "puns" funny? Do you think that puns are a great play on words?
I have collected (see source) for some of the best and funniest puns online!
Check out the favorite 5 best puns of the day! Oh, yeah, feel free to add your favorite pun in the comment section!

1. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.


2. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.


3. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.


4. Don't trust people that do acupuncture, they're back stabbers.


5. Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

Five Funny Short Puns



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Today's Best Pun - 9

Do you find "puns" funny? Do you think that puns are a great play on words?
I have collected (see source) for some of the best and funniest puns online!
Check out the favorite 5 best puns of the day! Oh, yeah, feel free to add your favorite pun in the comment section!

1. The ancient Romans only gathered once a week, because that was enough forum.


2. My skiing skills are really going downhill.


3. If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.


4. I try wearing tight jeans, but I can never pull it off.


5. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

My skiing skills are really going downhill




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Today's Best Pun - 8

Do you find "puns" funny? Do you think that puns are a great play on words?
I have collected (see source) for some of the best and funniest puns online!
Check out the favorite 5 best puns of the day! Oh, yeah, feel free to add your favorite pun in the comment section!

1. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.


2. Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.


3. John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.


4. People are choosing cremation over traditional burial. It shows that they are thinking out of the box.


5. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

Best Puns




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Today's Best Puns - 6

Do you find "puns" funny? Do you think that puns are a great play on words?
I have collected (see source) for some of the best and funniest puns online!
Check out the favorite 5 best puns of the day! Oh, yeah, feel free to add your favorite pun in the comment section!

1. I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.


2. I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.


3. The trampoline was on sale for fifty per cent off. Needless to say I jumped on the offer.


4. Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?


5. Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.

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Funny Puns 6


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Today's Best Puns - 4

Do you find "puns" funny? Do you think that puns are a great play on words?
I have collected (see source) for some of the best and funniest puns online!
Check out the favorite 5 best puns of the day! Oh, yeah, feel free to add your favorite pun in the comment section!

1. I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie I've ever seen.


2. The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.


3. A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.


4. I think Santa has riverfront property in Brazil. All our presents came from Amazon this year.


5. I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!

Magician Pun

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Today's Best Pun 1

Do you find "puns" funny? Do you think that puns are a great play on words?
I have collected (see source) for some of the best and funniest puns online!
Check out the favorite 5 best puns of the day! Oh, yeah, feel free to add your favorite pun in the comment section!

1. My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing. I have to say I saw it coming. The last time I was at his house all the signs were there.


2. I get my large circumference from too much pi.


3. Grocers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed.


4. He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.


5. I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.


6. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.


7. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

Today's Best Seven Puns!



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Today's Best Pun

Do you find "puns" funny? Do you think that puns are a great play on words?
I have collected (see source) for some of the best and funniest puns online!
Check out the favorite 5 best puns of the day! Oh, yeah, feel free to add your favorite pun in the comment section!

1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.


2. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.


3. If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable?


4. I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.


5. A noun and a verb were dating but they broke up because the noun was too possessive.

Today's Best Puns

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