- Aren't there real crooks somewhere you should be catching?
- You don't happen to have any beer in your car?
- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
- What? You need a license to drive?
- Are You Andy or Barney?
- What's wrong, Ossifer? I swear to drunk I'm not God! And really, there is no blood in my alchohol.
- So what if I was speeding? What are gonna do about it Mr. Hotshot?
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down the Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom." >
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