Monday

Best Blonde Short Jokes



Here is my collection of funny, short and yet dumb blonde jokes! Enjoy, maybe share your favorite short (not height wise) blonde joke. Even share them on Facebook or Twitter!

  • Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
    A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.


  • Q: Why can't blondes water-ski?
    A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.


  • Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
    A: If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked.


  • Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
    A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.


  • Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
    A: The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.


  • Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
    A: One's a phony buck.


  • Q: Who is the best blonde secretary in the world?
    A: One that never misses a period.


  • Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
    A: An Italian suppository.


  • Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
    A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.


  • Q: Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
    A: She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.


  • Pregnant Blonde

  • Q: Why does a blonde wear green lipstick?
    A: Because red means Stop.


  • Q: What do you give the blonde who has everything?
    A: Penicillin.


  • Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
    A: Tell her she's pregnant.


  • A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You sl*t! How many is a brazilian?"


  • Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
    A: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.


  • Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
    A: A whine cellar.


  • Q: How do you know a blonde likes you?
    A: She screws you two nights in a row.


  • Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in her ear?
    A: "Thanks for the refill!"


  • Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
    A: They pull up their pants.


  • Q: How do you get a blonde on the roof?
    A: Tell her drinks are on the house.


  • Q: Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
    A: It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.


  • Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
    A: They drowned in Spring training.


  • Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
    A: To see what was on the other side.


  • Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
    A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.


  • Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice?
    A: Because it said 'concentrate'.


  • Q: What do smart Blondes and UFOs have in common?
    A: You always hear about them but you never see them.
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