- Q: What's Forrest Gump’s password?
- In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples,"Only take one. God is watching."
Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
- Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?"
A: "You can't tuna fish."
- Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
- Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
- A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
- Q: Why did the belt get arrested?
A: He held up a pair of pants.
- Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!
- Q: What do you call a fat psychic?
A: A four chin teller.
- Q: Did you hear the joke about the germ?
Never mind. I don't want to spread it around
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